Friday, February 19, 2010

Vancouver 2010

We think of ourselves as very well-rounded and accepting bitches. We sniff the butts of dogs from all walks of life (literally), all races, colors, breeds, and nationalities. But once every two years we pull out our American flag collars and take the supercilious persona adopted by all Americans. It's Olympic time!

August 2008 we were head-over-paws for the summer Olympics in Beijing. (Read our scathing post on Michael Phelps!) We watched as the Chinese showed the world that children should be seen or heard, but never simultaneously. We saw Phelps swim nearly as well as Maggie in a duck pond. And we saw the Chinese shame our patriotic tails over and over again.

So naturally, we were excited for the Olympic opportunity to come around again. We watched with bated breath for the opening ceremonies. Who could forget the Beijing opening ceremonies? The boxes are people, THE BOXES ARE PEOPLE! The 2010 opening ceremonies were about as exciting as catnip, which is to say they were disappointing and targeted towards idiots. The following picture is misleading in that it appears to convey an exciting event.

Luckily, the USA is winning in the medal count so far with some very exciting events behind us. Surprisingly, Bode Miller didn't totally choke and actually medaled this time, we well remember his debacles of years past. Apolo Ohno (Salt Lake resident, boo yeah!) made a repeat performance, silver medaling in the 1500m speed skating. Basically, America has been kicking the trash of communists, former Nazis, socialists, and losers from all over the world. We love the Olympics!
We are upset that there are no dog competitions, but we have a few ideas for submission to the Olympic committee.

For the Winter Olympics:
  • An Iditarod-esque dog sledding race
  • Ice fetch (fetching on ice, pretty much exactly what it sounds like)
  • Snow Eating
For the Summer Olympics:
  • Swimming
  • Digging
  • Tug-of-War aka 'Pulley' (Our Aunt Annie would win this one for sure!)
  • Butt-liking (Not really a seasonal sport.)
What do you think? Any dog sports out there you think deserve to be competed against any chien, perro, koira, Hund, or gau?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...



From Wikipedia, "It is a recreation or sport where a harnessed dog or team of dogs attached to a towline, pull and run ahead of a cyclist."