Monday, February 8, 2010

Local Trails and Fun - Frozen Hog

Before our father took off for "the Philippines" for "work," he participated in a local bike race known as the Frozen Hog. We are skeptical of his trips, especially the lengthier ones. He frequently comes back smelling of cats and monkeys. We don't want to sound libelous, but we think it likely he is involved in a nefarious catnip smuggling ring. Just saying.

The race trail at Lambert Park.

But before he left, he competed in a mountain biking race at Lambert Park in Alpine, UT. For our out-of-town bitches and studs, it is pretty cold here in February. Alpine sits in the foothills below American Fork Canyon, and there was at least a foot of snow on the trail. If you know our father at all, you know that no amount of snow will prevent him from recreating, especially when his cojones are at stake. (Sadly, most of the dogs we know are sans cojones due to an especially cruel human practice of emasculation...)

There were about a hundred bike racers lined up this Saturday, though the weather was cold and dreary. They started out with a 100 yard "dash" through deep snow at which point the racers all grabbed their bikes. The racers then pushed their bikes for miles through the snow and ice, falling on their faces in the deep snow if they ever attempted to ride their unsteady vehicles. We did not understand this race in the least. Our father was pleased as a bitch with a bone when he finished the race, and he placed 4th in his age category.

Our father, valiant bike (and catnip?) pusher. We're not sure why he needed to buy such an expensive bike if he was only going to schlep it through the snow. Our mother concurs.

We saw several dogs, a few deer, and enjoyed being outside, even if the weather wasn't the greatest. If you're looking to commune with nature, Lambert Park is your place. Also, if you're looking to laugh at a bunch of middle-aged men falling on their faces in a foot of snow, the Frozen Hog will not let you down. This is one of the silliest things our father has participated in (and that's saying something); we will definitely be back next year.

This is the only picture we have of him actually riding his bike. He's about to cross the finish line here. Victory? We're not sure you can say that.


Lisa said...

Bahahaha! That is hilarious... still laughing... yup still laughing!

Kris said...

Hmmm...makes running a marathon seem a little tame.
Last night I gave my hubby your blog address and he ended up sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop just laughing out loud. Thanks for making us smile...always!