Monday, January 11, 2010

Movie - Avatar

We were still a twinkle in a bitch’s eye when the movie Ferngully came out, so we were excited by Avatar. A movie we thought would be a carbon copy of the 90’s classic, but with better visual effects. We snuck into the IMAX 3D theater by our house to watch, and settled in for a thrilling ride. Unfortunately, 3D doesn’t work for dogs like it does for humans, we ended up vomiting (and then eating back up the sick, naturally) and left early. We returned the next night, buying tickets to the regular theater, which worked out much better for us.

As a science fiction/fantasy idea, the movie was incredible. Rarely are intricate worlds so convincingly created, and common sci-fi shortcuts (e.g. planetary air equivalent to earth, mildly disguised humans) were avoided. We loved the idea of connecting to a global network through braid chords. We saw a lot of really cool ideas that we thought about for days afterwards. The only gripe we have in the Pandora world is that dogs are portrayed as evil villains that attack without provocation, outrageous!

Our main howl against the show was based in plot. Many of the characters were extremely one-dimensional (e.g. The businessman, the army guy) and suffered from loss of imagination. And speaking of lack of imagination, what the woof is unobtainium? The plot was thin, partly because they needed so much action in a movie that was already three hours long. (Which is 21 hours in doggy time, interminable!!!) The other part was a design flaw from the outset. As an audience, we are tired of the message that the West is greedy, obsessed with destroying nature, and heartless towards indigenous peoples.

Our solution: Make it a two, or even three part series. The potential was easily there to develop complex plotlines. People’s interest would have been piqued with the first movie, and the agenda (if necessary) could have been introduced later on. Also, there would have been time for character development of secondary (read: humans) parts. We think the movie had Star Wars potential, but as is, it will fall flat.

We think you should see it, at least so you know what everyone’s talking about, but unobtainium? Give us a break. We’re dogs, we can smell a pile of crap from lightyears away.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Insightful review of Avatar here

The money shot:

"But the more blatant lesson of Avatar is not that American imperialism is bad, but that in fact it’s necessary. Sure there are some bad Americans—the ones with tanks ready to mercilessly kill the Na’vi population, but Jake is set up as the real embodiment of the American spirit. He learns Na’vi fighting tactics better than the Na’vi themselves, he takes the King’s daughter for his own, he becomes the only Na’vi warrior in centuries to tame this wild dragon bird thing. Even in someone else’s society the American is the chosen one. He’s going to come in, lead your army, f*&k your princesses, and just generally save the day for you. Got it? This is how we do it."