And now we come to that insipid man, the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan. Our parents recently read his book, Cesar's Way. We can tell that they have already started using his evil tactics to try and control us. Cesar has tapped into the inner psyche of dogs. He has spent time studying their packs and has taught himself to be the ultimate pack leader. We dogs have been programmed through the ages to obey without question their pack leader. He teaches humans how to exploit this great trait, at the chagrin of housedogs everywhere.
We can already detect the changes in our lives. Our parents are controlling us. They are stopping us from jumping on them when they get home from wherever they go all day. Our mother is no longer letting us eat straight from the dishwasher. We have to walk next to them on walks now, as if!
This cruel immigrant moved from his home country to wreak havoc on American doggies. We think it is time to start a great crusade the world over to stop Cesar and all his evil ways. We dogs need to stop listening to anyone that acts in a 'calm-assertive' manner. We need to make sure that every copy of Cesar's Way is destroyed, preferably by canine chewing. We do not need to be 'whispered' at to be well-behaved, we got along just fine before Cesar came along, and we're the worse for his words in our home....
IT IS WAR.
2 comments:
Maggie Sue, please tell me that isn't you on cover of Cesar's tome?
In the words of a different Cesar, Mr. Chavez, "Viva La Causa [de perro]"
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