Saturday, May 10, 2008

Politics: Democratic Nominee

Maggie: I have long been a proponent of bitches around the world. For this reason, I support Hillary Clinton in her White House aspirations. She is a tough old broad, and determined not to let a young puppy get in her way; she has claws and teeth.

Hillary addresses valid doggy issues. Health care to all! Which would have saved my parents and I a lot of money when I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis several years ago. She wants to install tax breaks for more energy-efficient homes so doggies everywhere can enjoy snow-shoeing for many years longer (Global warming = no snow).

And she's hella tough, so vote for the woman, stand by your bitch!

Sammi: This country needs change, hope, happiness, and other nondescript pleasant and ethereal nouns; which is exactly why we're throwing our collar into the ring for Barack Obama! We need some fresh blood and meat and bones and balls and Greenies and.... I diverge.

Obama addresses many key doggy issues. He did not vote for the war in Iraq, which has taken so many dog owners away from their puppies. (The fact that he wasn't around to vote is irrelevant!) Obama does not support legislation to retain online data, which is great for us, we don't want the cops knowing about our secret Clu Cat Clan meetings...

The point is, Obama is my man, and Maggie is dumb. Oh, and so is Hillary.

Quick vote: This Primary is going on way too long.

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