Apps: Hipstamatic

We love our parents' iPhones! We are constantly on the watch for the newest and greatest apps to play with. Our new favorite, is the Hipstamatic app, and we've been playing with it as much as possible! We even told our mother about it, and she used it on her trip to Boston more than other standard cameras available.

Their tagline is, 'Digital Photography Never Looked so Analog.' The app uses the iPhone's 2mp camera and applies film, flash, and lens macros to take really awesome pictures on the go.

The app is $1.99, but it's totally worth it! There are other films and lenses available for purchase, but we've been very satisfied with the standard equipment and haven't felt the need to augment them.

We are in love with this app, and we think that you will fall in love with it as well! Now we will have a camera handy to take pictures of the cats and quail that sit in our yard to taunt and annoy us!

Twitter Account

As dogs, we are big fans of short prose. A human would have to use the lengthy phrase, "Hey mailman, if you don't get the hell off of our porch and stop endangering our humans, we will rip the intestines from your body via your butt-hole." Whereas, a well-emphasized bark or two will convey the exact same message. We say, "Orrrunghhh," whereas our father would say, "I need to go outside and relieve the pressure on my bladder! I shouldn't have had that fourth non-alcoholic beer..."

So when we heard about the concept of Twitter, we were very excited. What a great way for us to communicate in short bursts, and another way for you, our loyal readers, to follow us on the internets! So we created a Twitter account this evening, our username is judgmentbitches and you can see our profile here.

Already, Twitter is teaching us about other injustices endured by dogs around the world. Twitter linked us to this blog post about a poor Weimaraner subjected to humiliating rabbit ears. Obviously dog ears are much better for hunting and killing, stupid humans!

Technology - iPad

Our nation has drawn together this week, united by a common goal, evaluating the new Apple iPad.

We love touch screens. Our parents both have iPhones, and we find the screens very responsive to our rough paws and our claws have only made minor scratches in the glass. We were excited about blogging on a device that seemed perfect for us, a giant iPhone.

We expected to lust over the iPad immediately, but how can you lust over a device that immediately reminds one of feminine hygiene products??? A refined bitch should never even need to use that word - we've been spayed. The stud in charge of naming the device ought to be put in a cone of shame. (We know that a bitch would never make such an egregious error.)

Maggie in a cone of shame.

While we have never used the device, we are full of opinions anyways -- this is a trait we have learned from humans. Most notably, we find Dr. Laura Schlessinger especially amazing -- she always knows how to do the 'right thing' with the scantest of context!

Reasons We Would Like an iPad:

- Cool factor. The dogs at the dog park would be impressed.

- Fun to use.

- Easier for our unwieldy paws to use than the iPhone.

Reasons We Will Not Buy an iPad:

- Stupidest. Name. Ever.

- We are not interested in another subscription. Audible, Netflix, gas, power, cell phones, mortgage. NO MORE MONTHLY BILLS.

- Doesn't really fit into our computer/media usage. It wouldn't replace any of our current devices. (Including: Desktop, notebook, Kindle, iPhone.)

- We already have pads on our paws, and they are much more functional than Apple's pads. You can't run after dad's mountain bike on four iPads!

- Has many of the limitations of the iPhone: No flash (read: No Hulu), No applications running in the background (read: No Pandora), smudgy screen (read: Nose juices everywhere).

The Apple website describes the iPad as, "Our most advanced technology in a magical and revolutionary device at an unbelievable price." We want to be convinced, but for now the only magic we believe in is at Hogwarts.